Manifesting Our Dream Homes

The listing photo for our San Rafael home.

I actually wrote this a full year ago (before we sold our Portland house, and bought our dream home in Astoria), but never posted it. I think I must have been too scared to believe, since it really didn’t feel possible at the time. Yet, before I share about manifesting our newest dream home, I thought I should finally post about our first experiences:

Our first dream home was a simple northwest-style cottage with cedar siding, hardwoods and plenty of lovely vintage windows. Before starting our search, we made up our wish list. The house matched it perfectly. It had just been flipped, so interior didn’t need much work, and we were able to focus our energy on designing and implementing my permaculture plan. We really wanted to be close to a park, and our place was so close to Arbor Lodge Park that I could watch dogs frolic as I washed the dishes. It was the perfect size for a couple, but as soon as I had Kieran, we suddenly felt cramped…for good reason; his nursery had previously been my closet.

So, we started to house hunt. We looked at just one home that we fell in love with, which had almost an identical layout as our current home…our Realtor could hardly believe how similar the two homes were. But we quickly realized that we couldn’t afford what we wanted…de ja vu to my recent experience of feeling a big financial gap.

By another year later, we did both save and grow our income enough to afford the house we really wanted. It’s good to remember how I manifested it to begin with. I’ve told the story to plenty of friends about how when we were house shopping we had found a descent place in the Beaumont neighborhood near many friends, but the yard was tiny, the layout wasn’t great, and the kitchen was atrocious (think pink tiles with inset electric burners!). So, one night as I was debating whether I could manage a full kitchen remodel, I decided that I needed to envision what it would look like. In my mind I created an open floor plan with a butcher block island in the center, open white cabinets, stainless steel appliances, pantry space, and a cozy kitchen nook. Then I painted it purple and smiled as I drifted to sleep…

Then, just as we accepted a fantastic offer on our first home, I found the listing. Touring the house felt like a dream come true, as I checked off all the details on our wish list, including my perfect purple kitchen.

We’ve lived in our lovely 1904 Victorian for six years now, moving in when I was pregnant with Makenna. Kieran was a chubby faced toddler when we moved in. Our family has literally grown here with peaceful home birth memories for both of my daughters. It feels like home in the best of ways, and it is a sentimental place for me.

Lately our home no longer feels like my current dream home, even though I kind of nudge myself to be grateful for all the beauty and comfort that surrounds me. I’m simply ready to manifest a new dream home.

So, my first step is coming up a detailed list of my new dream home…then feeling the joy inside…then keeping the faith that we will be able to make the leap.

Do you live in your dream home? Do you believe in manifesting one?

Darcy

Miel’s Million Dollar Net Worth

1 Reply

This is the first time that I’ve really shared about my net worth directly on Sustainable Family Finances. I was actually one of the first finance bloggers to share their net worth publically (on my old site DINKs Finance). I’ve continuous posted about my net worth for ten years. I’ve also been featured on J Money’s Top Net Worths for Finance Bloggers on RockStar Finance, coming in at number 11 of the 180 finance bloggers who publically share their net worth.

This is also my first time posting my net worth as an individual; previously I had always posted a joint net worth, but that is no longer the case after my recent divorce. This started at $300k back in 2005 and was tracked over time to hit the Million dollar mark in 2013.

It is bold to be the first. It is also a bit scary. It also doesn’t matter how much money you have or don’t have. Yes, if you are wondering, I have been criticized for sharing. I guess it came off as bragging, even though I had considerable less than I do today. But I also feel a certain obligation to myself and know if I track my progress and create goals for myself, that I can take what I have and grow it into whatever I can dream it to be. I also hope that it is helpful for readers to see what is feasible over a decade.

My first official individual net worth comes in at $1,058,434. My ability to grow and create wealth so far has been pretty impressive. (Darcy is giving me a virtual high five…this is huge!). I’ve worked my ass off for sure. I’ve never really ever had just one job. I’ve always juggle a few different income generating activities. Being a landlord for 12 years should say enough. I started saving for retirement at $25 a month and grew that to over $300k.

As you can see, the more you have, the more you owe. Making money is not for sissies. Owing nearly a million dollars is not something to take lightly. Wealth comes with a great deal of responsibilities and its own set of challenges.

My net worth gives a pretty candid look at where I’m at financially. What it doesn’t show is what comes next. I’m at a space in my life where I’m looking at this question very closely. How best do I leverage what I have to create financial stability and long term wealth creation? Follow along to find out!

Cheers,

Miel

Why does divorce cost so much? Because it is worth it. (It might be a sign when your well paid marriage counselor shares this with you…)

If you are part of the one third of Americans who have experienced divorce, then you clearly have your own war stories to share.

It’s going to happen [sometimes], so let this story of mine be advice that is kind of like an insurance policy. I hope you’ll never have to use it, but you’ll be glad you had it if you do.

Laws differ in every state, and are complicated by kids, real property, debts, and businesses. Mine involved all four. But an hour with an attorney was all the legal counsel I needed, while my ex chose to keep a lawyer on retainer.

It surprisingly took us about an hour to hash out the details of how we would divide our assets. Just like that, it was settled. It still took about 5 months to go through the motions and have a finalized divorce (feet dragging was at play). All the important details were sorted in what felt like record time.

It helped that we had a prenup. Though we didn’t actually divide things even close to what we had originally agreed upon, the general tenants were stood by. Rewind to a decade prior, and thankfully we had the foresight to realize that our financial lives might look very different. I read a short but helpful book on prenups, “What to do, before ‘I do'”, that was more helpful than the lawyer I paid.

The main aspects of our agreement were:

Premarital assets would remain individual. (James had one rental property and I had no assets to speak of).
Retirement funds would be kept as individual. (James had about $70k in retirement, but by the time we divorced, I would have triple of his retirement).
Any inheritance would be kept separate. (I would have hoped not to receive any inheritance by now, but had heard a horror story of someone whose wife got the house that the husband had bought with the inheritance he had gotten when his mother died. This was just a year after her death and a few years into marriage.)
No alimony. (James had seen his dad pay alimony and didn’t like the taste of it. Though in reality if we had divorced a couple of years ago, I might have been the one paying him.)
Our primary residence would be split 70/30, in my favor. (This was due to expecting that I would pay for more of our household expenses as James was headed into a Ph.D. program just after we married. I would end up supporting the majority of our household expenses over a 5 year period).

When it came down to the dissolution of our marriage, our net worth would be more than a million dollars and include a variety of assets. It ended up working out that James would propose what he felt was fair, and I agreed with only a few tweaks. It looked like this:

James got our blogging business that spun off of the original DINKs Finance and $20k in cash that he would use to further build this business and build a revenue stream from.

In turn, I got all four properties (two rentals in DC, one beach cabin bought with inheritance money, and my sweet pad in NE Portland), plus all remaining joint funds that had come from the sale of our last place in DC.

We both got wanted we wanted, though in turn have the responsibility of managing complex asset portfolios. (Whoever thinks income generation is a passive sport has never had assets to manage). Despite the fact that managing them will be a source of some stress, I think I got the better deal. (As my college friend Eli put it, “In Monopoly, no one ever wins with the utilities.”)

Best advice about prenups: get one to protect yourself (even if you aren’t going to get a divorce and don’t have any assets). It may not feel romantic, but if you can’t talk frankly about finances, you probably aren’t ready for marriage. Here is my original post on prenups, at the time of writing one.

Best advice about divorce: Establish common ground and don’t sell yourself sort.

Best advice about lawyers: Use them sparingly. If we had both taken our lawyer’s advice, then things would have been much more complex, drawn out, and neither of us would have gotten what we wanted.

Best,

Miel

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